STEREOTYPES AND HOW THEY COLOUR OUR PERCEPTIONS.
Franca sat on the floor, legs entangled
like a yoga instructor. "Why did
she have to be the one to do all the work for them while they had hands and were
all given the same assignments in school?" she thought, peeling cocoyam
and hissing when the heat scalded her soft palms.
"This isn't right," She grumbled,
looking at the books on the bed and the pile of dirty clothes just peeping at
her from under the bed: Baggy jeans, hoodies, tee-shirts - Clothes that were
not hers. .
She bit her lip and continued peeling the
cocoyam, blowing her hands and trying to do each piece a little faster than the
last. When she finished removing the backs of the cocoyam and tossing them in
the bowl, she poured the hot soft soggy sticky balls into her mortar, lifted the
pestle and started pounding hard. She had to finish and start reading before
three hours’ time.
Earlier in the week, the guys in her lodge had
brought out their clothes and foodstuffs and practically bullied her into
accepting that she would cook and wash for them. Although her weekend was fully
booked with schoolwork, she reluctantly agreed because her mother said you
shouldn't argue with men. You could bruise their egos and bring out the beasts
in them.
"But I haven't even started working on
my assignments," she'd wailed to Monica, her best friend, later that evening,
"And you know how many pages that mean woman told us to write!"
"I know dear, I know. But why not tell
them to do it for you? They're much smarter than us anyway. Same way, cooking
comes to us naturally," Monica had replied, putting an arm around and trying
to pacify her best friend.
"I wish I could do that," Franca
replied, "But I can't. I really love learning this, you know. You know I
do. Plus, I even scored higher than most of the boys in our class in the test results
that Class rep pasted this morning."
Monica's hands flew to her mouth and her
eyes popped.
"I know right," Franca had continued,
"I was surprised and excited too. And honestly, it makes me want to try some
of things that mummy said I couldn't do."
Monica had shot her a disapproving look.
"No. No. No. Don't do that. Didn't
your mum tell you? Women are supposed to help. We must never outshine men in manly
things. Same way a man must never outshine us in the kitchen!"
Franca groaned and rolled her eyes.
"I know. I know but I just feel... It
feels like I could just do anything you know."
Franca pulled her sweater over her head.
"Come here...," Monica replied
hugging her, "Being a woman is not easy but we will learn every day."
After their conversation, Monica mentioned everything
to Sister Rose, Franca's godmother. That resulted in a three-hour lecture on
how as a lady, you must know your place and never compete or let your words or
actions suggest that you're competing with men. When the counselling session was
over, Sister Rose made Franca promise that she wouldn't score too highly next
time so she won't scare boys who were interested in her away.
Unfortunately, Franca did and she never
aced another test like that again.
Do you know that telling your girls to be
content with just being average actually makes them grow into women who don't
want much out of life? Do you know that some of the things we tell our girls
stifle their true nature and make them people who must conform to particular
rules, behavior, thought pattern and even career choices? Why do we force girls
to be domestic but we don't bother about whether a man can even light a fire?
Why do we tell girls to dumb down, instead of realizing their full potential, just
so they won't scare men away?
Stop this! Your girls are humans too with
their own individual personalities, likes and dislikes. Don't tell them who
they should be or what they can like or not like! Don't hold them back from achieving
their dreams. Don't tell them they're trying too hard or aiming too high! Don't
train them to see themselves as someone who was born or created to serve men
even at the expense of her happiness. Teach them that what they think, what they
like and what they are interested in matters. Teach them not to wallow in
limitations. The root of these stereotypes is based on culture. Is it then a
crime to be born a female? Must women wallow in limitations as a result of
cultural values? Should their human rights be infringed upon based on her
gender. Culture to me should be an element of appreciation.
Oh culture, you definitely can't limit me,
can u please be enhanced. I do love cultural values at least it makes me to
appreciate the fact that variety is the spice of life. I walk, live and act out
according to God's purpose for my gender. Let my mind be renewed based on God's
word for my gender not on cultural beliefs. Christ is my standard not culture.
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