AND SO  THE CLOCK STRIKES A NEW YEAR! Well, the earth has gone around the sun for a whole year since I last marked my birth. Here I am again, a year older. I decided to mark this year in an unusual matter. I want to openly reflect on how the past year has been for me. The past year has been filled to the brim with lots of ups and downs. There were good times and not-so-good times.  Compared to previous years, I have been molded than I could ever account for this last year. I am grateful for the progress I have made. I am remorseful for the mistakes I recorded; I am thankful for the humans who had one hand or the other in my continued growth. I learned because learning is a continuum. I learned because I understand that change is constant, and we must embrace each phase as it comes. I would like to share some of the things that I have learned. They have shaped the past year for me. Who knows, others might just pick one or two talking points from my experience. I hope here goes

I am active on social media. There, I get to table my thoughts, and share my views with like-minded individuals, receive criticism on my advocacy from genuine critics, and get tongue-lashed by narrow-minded humans. Yet,  it is what it is. I am used to the cycle, too. Recently, I was on Twitter, and I came across someone who, basing his argument on the global suspension of football no thanks to coronavirus, argued that more feminists will become busy bees about advocacy,  trying to win more hearts over to the cause . And from the precedents of his tweeted argument and the succeeding tweets, you could tell he had an ax to grind with gender advocacy. And like nectar (or honey) to bees, many people commented their support to his assertion. You should guess what most of them would say: the trite rhetoric that they are tired of feminists and their  cries  for equality. Was I surprised that the tweeter had such strong backing? No. Did I find it odd that the tweeter made such a baseless

A lot of people, including me, have never been comfortable with the "Wife-Material" tag. The reasons are quite glaring. When an average Nigerian calls you a wife material, they mean that you are a perfect definition of society's stereotypical woman. They see you as someone who is living a script, not necessarily as someone whose personality they admire, but someone who would fit into the descriptions of someone else’s future demands. Wife material, in the view of many, is a measure of how domesticated a woman is. It seems that is all a woman entails as if women should fit into a box the society has designed for them. Sometimes, it feels like being coerced into following some set of rules that one is not comfortable with. It feels as if one’s essence as a woman is subsumed in the definition of the tag. When some women revolt against the idea of wife-materialness, people argue that they are anti-marriage. But the truth is, that is not always the case. They are o

From childhood, many people unconsciously start learning stereotypes (a widely-held but fixed and oversimplified image or idea of a particular type of person or thing). It starts with the illustrations in our primary school textbooks. A doctor is usually a man and a nurse a woman. A bank manager is typically a man, and the secretary or cleaner is a woman. At such a young age, these pictures and words create lasting impressions that, in some cases, are never shattered.  This is why many people assume that any woman in a white ensemble in a hospital is a nurse. It doesn't matter if she is the one in the consulting room with a stethoscope and a folder ready to diagnose the patient. It doesn't matter if she is the one in the laboratory waiting to take samples and identify microorganisms. It doesn't matter that she is going to dispense the prescribed medications and give instructions on how to use them. This kind of thinking is also why many people act surprised or disappoint

As a gender advocate, I have had people ask me what about advocating for men. They ask: "Isn't gender equality all about gender balance? Why am I always throwing the spotlight on women or highlighting women's issues." I smile and tell them that I speak about girl child and women issues because I have first-hand experience of a lot of the things I talk about. As a woman, I know what it means to live in a patriarchal society. I know to a large extent, the power those stereotypes can wield over people's perceptions. That is why I am fighting really hard to change them in our girls'/women's minds and in the society at large. Come to think of it: Isn't it a lot easier and more genuine to talk about what you have passion for? And isn't passion sometimes born out of what you have experienced or felt? That is how advocating for women has been like for me. Although my focus is mainly on women and girls, I do not fail to point you in the direction of men who

The month of March is Women's history month - a month dedicated to celebrating women who have contributed or are currently contributing their quota to gender equality, the betterment of humanity and to the society. Today, I would like to shine my spotlight on Precious Gaza, an International relations graduate, an emotional intelligence coach and, a girl child education advocate. In this piece she bares it all giving us an insight into how advocacy has been for her as a Nigerian woman. She talks about how she started advocacy, and the challenges so far. She also tells us what inspired her to become an emotional intelligence coach and how life has been for her as a sickle cell warrior. Hear from her directly: Can we meet you, please? My name is Precious Gaza. I am from FCT, Abuja (yes, my state of origin is Abuja! Lol). My tribe is Gbagyi. Tell us about your educational background? I have a BSC in International Relations and Diplomacy from Baze University, Abuja. My Post-Grad Di

Give me a voice, one that I can call mine Let me bring out my colours from in deep within my mind like a flowering flower springing new petals. I only ask for a choice to be who I am without the tethers of gender hurting around my tender neck.   Give me a life, a chance, to crave for and seek the cradle of wisdom like the river seeking the sea. I want to learn to fight without a hand tied behind my back with the chains of culture, what should change that stayed constant.   For I am a light, hidden by the curtains of doubt. Yet, none can douse the fire of the sun. I am a hope, a promise of more. I am one like you as you are one like me. I am the balance, the edge of the other side. I am human, before I am anything else.   Written by iconxpressions   Photo Credit : awarenessday.com

THE POWER OF EQUAL REPRESENTATION Imagine attending a meeting with another firm only to discover all the representatives of such a firm are males. As a 21st-century human, it should get you thinking: "Is it that they don't have women in this organization?" I have had a series of discussions with people regarding this and many people say that of course they would love more women on board but not at the detriment of competence. I understand correctly. I always reply that I am not a fan of incompetence or mediocrity. Still, I have observed that many times, people organize programs without female speakers or facilitators. It makes one wonder if there are no competent females in the whole of that city to handle those topics. I firmly believe that competence is vital. But I feel that, sometimes, many of us assume that men would be more competent by default. Hence, we fail to consider checking if there are females who are better suited for a particular role. That is a huge pro

Every year, March 8 marks the International Women's Day. A day set aside by the United Nations to celebrate women and advocate women's rights and gender equality. This year's theme is Generation Equality: Realizing Women's Rights for an equal future. This year we are choosing to be that generation that finally realized or achieves gender equality by giving women their due diligence. We finally recognize that women's rights are also human rights and therefore matter equally. To be able to think this way, we have to truly understand what gender equality is. Gender equality is not sameness in biology or physiology. (This is the fallacious assertion that some people point out when you tell them that men and women are equal). Instead, it is the perspective that men and women are equal in value. Hence, they, both, should be taken seriously and treated with respect. Think of it like racial equality. The concept of people having different races, and yet we

The international women’s day which comes up on the 8th of March every year was commemorated today 5th of March 2020 with a program at Abadina College, UI. The program was tagged, “Generation equality: realizing women’s right for an equal future.” The program was majorly geared towards enlightening and broadening the scope of understanding of Secondary school students as regards gender equality and also bringing it into reality. The program was facilitated by two distinguished people; Deborah Adeojo and Daniel Akinyemi, who took their time to painstakingly teach the students what they need to know about gender equality. The facilitators were also able to unteach and debunk some erroneous beliefs and notions that the students had about gender equality. More so, the students were made to realize that there is nothing more human about a man that makes him better than a woman, therefore men and women are equal. The facilitators further explained that since men and women are equal, then

As a gender advocate, people have come up to me to ask why I don't advocate for men. I tell them that my advocacy has always been based on my reality. By my reality, I mean the issues I know about (by through experience and by virtue of reading stories, books and articles) and the issues I can easily relate to as a person. I am female and I believe that it is actually easier for people to be passionate about something they have a vast or an in-depth knowledge about. But although my own advocacy is not usually centred or focused on men, I am quick to applaud and shed light on men who have taken up the gauntlets and are advocating for men/the boy-child. Recently, I was privileged to interview Joseph, a leadership and management professional. In this interview, he takes us through his journey as an advocate for the boy-child. He shares what inspired him to begin advocacy, how it has been so far and what challenges he has faced and how he has been able to deal with them. This is the se